Adultery is first and foremost Sin! It is engaging in any form of sexual activity with someone other than your lawful spouse. It is the willful breaking of the marriage vow.
Why Is It Wrong To Commit Adultery?
Adultery is wrong because it breaks one of the first covenants established in the bible. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Ge. 2:24 NKJV) Marriage is a covenant or a commitment. If the integrity (virginity) of the wife was in tact at the time of the marriage then a blood covenant was established on the wedding night (note that lack of sexual purity on either parties part does not weaken the level of commitment each is expected to adhere to). Adultery is a violation or breaking of that covenant. Man and woman were made to come together and stay together.
It is important to understand that adultery is more than just cheating on your spouse. Sex is more than just a physical act, it is spiritual as well. It is not two bodies lying together for a short time it is two spirits coming together in the most intimate way in which two human beings can encounter one another. They are not meant to separate at this point. When this happens a tearing occurs and that is what causes pain. This is one of the reasons that divorce is so painful for both the man and woman. As a matter of fact, the only biblical excuse for divorce is adultery. “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual impurity causes her to commit adultery…” (Mt. 5:32 NKJV)
Do I Have To Have Sex In Order To Commit Adultery?
No! According to the Word of God all you have to do is lust after someone other than your spouse. Adultery begins in the heart long before it becomes physical. “You have heard that it was said to those of old, You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Mt. 5:27, 28 NKJV)
How Did Adultery Become A Part Of Your Life?
It came about by choices that you made. You have to choose to lust after someone other than your spouse. You have to choose to take the first step in making contact with the person you desire. You choose to set a time and place to meet. You choose to lay down with that person in a physical relationship. Adultery comes about by choice. Just as you choose to commit adultery you can choose to honor your wedding vows and be faithful to your spouse. “Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”, for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire is conceived, it gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.” (James 1:13-15 NKJV)
How is adultery affecting the lives of your loved ones?
Adultery will have long-lasting devastating affects on your loved ones. This occurs through your time spent away from home while committing adultery. It can occur through the distraction you may encounter just thinking about the other person. Anything that takes your time and attention away from your home, spouse, children, family or friends will impact them tremendously. Shame or guilt caused by adultery will tend to make one distant or withdrawn this will affect your relationships on many different levels.
ONLY God Can Help!
Begin by repenting. God promises that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1John 1:9 NKJV) This may also repenting to your spouse for the sin you have committed against her/him.
Make a renewed commitment to your spouse and to your vows. Make the choice to remain committed to your marriage no matter what.
Spend time in prayer and devotion to God daily. Ask Him to strengthen you and to keep you from temptation.
Learn to better communicate your needs to your spouse. Whatever was lacking from them, ask them to provide for you. You may need to seek qualified help for this from your pastor or a counselor.
Surround yourself with Godly people.